Hook and Bullet Club

When our youngest member first came out to Camp Cholesterol, our oldest member gave him some good advice.“Remember, what happens at deer camp stays at deer camp.” Good advice. There are plenty of goings-on that could make the wives a bit suspicious of our sanity, even more than they are already.But it’s probably all for the best anyway, especially when we’re having a year like this one. Heading into the final weekend of the rifle season we stood at a grand total of one deer for seven guys. Thanks to Jake we were able to try out the new meat pole and I have to say it worked to perfection. This was a great relief but unfortunately our pole designer was not able to join us and see the inaugural hoisting of the venison. We did get a visit from an unexpected visitor Friday night. Walking in through the door after a 1,300 mile journey was our now westward dwelling friend, the Squirrel. He did surprise the camp and his visual presence made for a festive evening. Throw in a sauna, a late meal of stuffed pork chops and enough games of smear and it can have a drastic impact on the number of guys who roll out of bed when the alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m.So when Jake was the first one out the door and knocked down a deer while walking into his stand, a couple of us were still shaking the cobwebs out of our heads as we hurriedly dressed and headed out the door. There are the ritual times of camp life that just can’t be beat.Smelling the coffee percolating on the stove in the morning cannot be duplicated by any automatic machine on the market. Listening to the chorus of six guys all snoring at different octaves, volumes and intervals can keep you up no matter how tired you are from all the walking you did the day before. Getting up in the middle of the night to check out the outhouse can be quite a surprise when you meet a campmate in his underwear on the trail coming back from the biffy. Of course meal time, whether it be for lunch or supper, is still the time when we’re all together and the stories flow back and forth. Then there’s the card games with plenty of ribbing by the winners and grumbling by the losers. Smear is our game of choice but we’ve learned to play Tick, a form of rummy that the camp rummies have been playing more this year since you don’t need four people to play. The cribbage board will even come out when we’re down to two hunters in camp.We spend more than our fair share out in the woods and we’ve got all kinds of housing projects scattered throughout the ridges and openings to sit and wait for that big buck to come in. That’s probably the most repeated question at camp, the “Where you gonna go today?”But there are times when not getting out of bed seems like the best option, especially on a cold, windy morning midway through the season when the wood stove has been cold for some time.Oh sure, a guy could get up and fire up the gas lights and get the stove back into heating mode again, but the other option is often too inviting.Just pull that sleeping bag up a little farther, roll over and close your eyes for just a few more minutes.Then you can roll out of bed at 9 a.m., have a nice breakfast and even get in a few games of cards with your other campmates who reached the same decision you did. Once you’ve got the first card game in the books, it’s time already to get some Polish going on the stove for lunch. You can talk about life in general from kids and grandkids to work and what old friends are up to these days. Hunting can be a topic as well since by now lunch has been finished, the dishes washed and another game of cards has reached the conclusion.This actually works out nicely since now it’s nearly 3 p.m. and you can start thinking about getting out for that last hunt of the day, just before the light fades from the sky.There’s not the great hurry you have in the morning to fly out the door before the sun comes up and you can leisurely make a walk out to a stand. This is an important part of the whole day since you want to be able to be telling the absolute truth when you’re asked, “So, did you guys even hunt today,” after the initial question of, “Did you see anything?” You really don’t want to answer no to both questions, that wouldn’t sound right. But that’s the way some days go at hunting camps. Being out in the woods hunting deer is a special time, something you think about frequently during the other 50 weeks of the year.Yet when you decide to spend a good part of a day in camp there’s a reward for that as well. It doesn’t help put meat on the pole but it does do wonders for your outlook on life in general. There’s nothing more relaxing for some of us, not even lying on an exotic beach somewhere. Give us a small cabin filled with a bunch of smelly guys, a stove to cook up lots of greasy food, a cooler full of beer, a deck of cards and we’re happy campers. Now let me say that this whole scenario of lounging around camp and playing cards or crawling back into your bunk after lunch and staying there until the sun goes down is not our regular routine. Well, I could tell you our regular routine but I believe “what happens at deer camp stays at deer camp.” You’re going to have decide for yourself what to believe, just don’t tell our wives.